I went through with it and got my eyes lasered on Saturday. Things are pretty awesome, but I'm still a little reserved about wholeheartedly gushing about the procedure, but all in all I'm very happy. Here's how it went down.

Pre surgery
I didn't need anyone to come with me, but it was nice of Lennon to come all the way from Whitby early in the morning to drive me. Whenever one of the staff would come out of a room I started to get a little nervous, but Lennon was good at distracting me from the distractions. First they did a final vision test and looked at my eyes.

I had a couple questions for the woman who was looking after me. First I asked her about dryness. I read that in their information package that if you have dry eyes, then you're more likely to get dry eyes after the procedure. It could potentially be permanent. I was a little worried about that, because I get dry eyes from wearing contacts. Her reply sounded like something she had read out of a book, which totally didn't even answer my question. I had to rephrase it a few times for her to understand. Eventually she said "no, I looked at your eyes, they're not dry." Jesus.

I read that (most?) places dilate your pupils before the procedure. I had a lot of trouble focusing when I had that done during the testing, and the reason they keep you awake during the procedure is so that you can focus. I asked if that would be any problem. It turns out that they don't dilate there. So I was somewhat relieved.

Next step was to pay and go through the post-op procedures. This is where I really started to get nervous. This is where I have to drop any tough guy pretensions—I was shitting bricks from this point on. I had the option to take 1mg of sublingual Ativan (lorazepam) to chill me out a bit. First I said no, then I changed my mind. I don't do well with stuff that should "chill me out," and I didn't really feel like experimenting. I asked if I could do a half, or put it in a bit and take it out. I must have sounded pretty bad. So I took it, then it got mixed up a bit in my gum, so I spit it out. But the pill was dissolved, and I swallowed what was left of it. I didn't realize that this was a mistake until after.

The surgery
Fifteen minutes later I was in on the table. The procedure its self wasn't too bad. I went in, the doctor asked if I had any questions. By this point if I still had any that would be nuts. I was asked to lie down on the table. They gave me two foam balls to squeeze and swung the table in place under the laser. The balls reminded me of what they used to do before anesthetic, when they got the person to bite down on a piece of wood.

They gave me the freezing eye drops and then went to work. I was way more nervous then I should have been. My teeth were gnashing and for a brief period I imagined myself outside my body. That was a little nuts, so I coaxed myself back in. The suction cup went on my eye okay, and the buzzing from making the cut with the microkeratome wasn't too bad. The rest of it was kinda fun. The light show was really weird. It started out centred and small, and then moved out, getting larger. I expected the burning flesh smell, but it still didn't prepare me for it. It wasn't bad, just weird. Replacing the flap felt exactly like how I expected, other then getting surprised by the instruments.

The second eye went the same. The only difference was that I could swear that I felt the microkeratome making the cut. Not any of the pain, just a bit of a tugging feeling. Like when you get stitches done.

Post op
When it was done they told me I did a "great job." I nervously laughed and told them "yeah, it was really hard work." I forgot to finish, so I don't think they caught that I wasn't being serious. I was directed to the other room where I could chill out in dim light for a bit. I could tell that my vision was corrected, but everything was still really foggy. Like I had slept with the same contacts in my eyes for two nights in a row. I updated my FB status, tweeted and texted, but it was pretty hard to see well enough.

This is where I started to shiver uncontrollably. This is what I mean by not being good with things that are supposed to chill me out. I'm usually fine with them, but while they kick in, I go through a brief period of disorientation and anxiety. As it turned out, this coincided exactly with the time I was on the surgery table.

I was given my first, and then second set of eye drops, then was directed to the room to see if the flap had moved. My third set of drops was missed, so the optometrist there put them in for me. Everything was fine, and I was told that I can go home.

Now I was really chilled out. I did a little googling on Ativan just before heading out. If you swallow it, it takes effect after 60-90 minutes. If you take it sublingually (under your tongue), then it kicks in after 10 minutes. That would have worked out pretty well for me. However, I read that you're not supposed to swallow for two minutes after taking it sublingually so that it gets absorbed. So what happened was that it kicked in enough for me to hit peak anxiety while I was on the table, and then it fully kicked in as I was leaving the office. Perfect.

At home
I wasn't allowed to watch TV, read, or be on a computer for 24 hours. This was very hard. I was recommended to go to sleep when I got home, but I wanted to enjoy my buzz so I did what I could to close my eyes. When they were open I would shift my focus points as often as possible. I assumed that they ban you from computers and reading because of all the repetitive minute movements.

Chantel came home, Lennon left, I took a nap, woke up, ate, taped the eye shields on, and went to bed.

Day 2
My vision was looking pretty good. I was able to drive down to my first follow-up appointment. It took two minutes for them to have a look and see that things were fine. I did a vision test. My left eye was 20/20, and my right... as the optometrist said was "20/20... ish." I had trouble determining whether it was because of undercorrection or if it was because of haloing. I'm still a little undecided actually.

I was given my receipt and a card which showed the correction that I had done. It was for -5.25 in my left, and -5.00 in my right. I had always worn -5.00 contacts in both eyes, even though my left was slightly weaker. I didn't think it was a full quarter diopter, but they apparently they thought so. I was a little miffed that they didn't actually tell me what they were correcting to. Something that I wouldn't have thought of until after.

Day 3
It appears that during the day my vision is super awesome. Definitely in the 20/15 range, like it was before when I was wearing glasses or contacts. There still is something that's not right. I can't put a finger on it exactly. It's like things are slightly blurry, but I can't isolate it to one eye. I'm fairly sure it's not a matter of being under- or over-corrected, and that it's part of healing.

In moderate light levels my vision is pretty good. Both eyes give me halos, but it's not too bad. It's at about the level I would be after wearing contacts at the end of the work day. At the point wehre I'm about ready to take them out, but I can deal with it for a few more hours.

At night I'm getting some decent sized starbursts, along with moderate haloes. It improves when I lubricate, but they're still there. It's fairly annoying. Not enough to make me want to stop driving at night yet. But it's disturbing because I can't turn it off. I know it's a part of the healing process, but I still get nervous that they might stick around.

I'm still very happy that I got it done, and I can only hope that everything continues to heal as expected.

This started when I asked if anyone had Lasik done on facebook.

me: geo wants to know about lasik experiences
friend 1: i love it
friend 2: (emailed a detailed description of his experience)
friend 3: i wish i had it done sooner
friend 4: i had a lazer enema (followed by a detailed description of his experience)
friend 5: it was the best thing i had done, other than my sex change

Too funny! I replied in long to everyone here:

Thanks for all the replies from those of you who've had Lasik done—especially friend 4. Since I have the appointment already booked, I might just ask them to do that if I chicken out with my eyes. Feel free to skip ahead, I have a couple specific questions for the people who have had it done near the end. :)

Experience with Lasik MD
First I got checked out at Lasik MD, where they ran all the tests and they booked an appointment. I've read about some shops being done like an assembly line—this was a pretty accurate description. It was a very finely tuned assembly line to get me to agree to the surgery.

There were three parts to the exam, each time they were pushing my boundaries just a little bit further. First was the normal optometrist test. Next they dilated my pupils (which I had never done before), and did a few more tests. Just a bit outside my comfort zone. I was expecting that the last part was just pricing. But when I got into the room the woman said that there was one more test. This is where she froze my eye with drops and touched some sort of probe to it. It was all too slick, sly and polished. This is when she recommended I book my surgery. I could always change my mind later, but this was just to ensure that I get it booked before January fills up.

This reminded me way too much of those guys who go door to door selling electricity and natural at (inflated) fixed rates. Smells like a scam. Almost enough to turn me off completely. Almost. But this IS something that I've wanted for a long time, so can it be that wrong?

Anyway, skip the rest of the life story, the appointment is in a week and a half and I'm starting to do research. When booking the appointment I fully expected to bail on it, but once the time approached I started thinking about it again. Maybe they expect that to happen, I don't know.

Where to get it done?
I know I'm already booked, but there's no reason for me to change where I get it done if there's a need. I know Lasik MD is considered the low-end. I mean advertising $499 per eye is ridiculous and misleading at best. Even from what I read on Red Flag Deals, nobody has heard of anyone who has even gotten this price. It just goes to undermine the credibility of Lasik MD further.

But once it's all said and done, none of the negatives I've mentioned yet have any effect on the final outcome. I would get Zyoptix by an experienced surgeon. I don't have astigmatism, so it should be pretty basic. The pricing is less than getting it done at TLC, Herzig, or Yonge/Eglinton, but it's not enough to really make it a factor.

I feel like the technology is comparable, although it would be done with a microkeratome instead of intralased. It's hard to tell what to believe with these places. The companies that use microkeratomes say that's the best, the ones who use intralase believe that's the best.

The more questions I have, the more confused I get. Does any of this even matter?

As far as surgeons go, I know that's supposed to be the most important thing, but it's a bit of a wash. Any of the places sound like they have experienced and inexperienced ones. I'm not entirely convinced that an experienced one will necessarily do a better job. Maybe it's naïve of me, I don't know. Even the more experienced ones can screw up. There's a site entirely devoted to badmouthing Dr. Stein. I'm sure there can be problems anywhere.

Specific post-op questions
I'm really nervous about losing what I've got right now. The other day I wanted to see how far away the furthest recognizable object was. It turned out it was a hydro tower 6km away. Since then I've noticed just how good my vision is when I'm wearing contacts or glasses. I suppose it must have something to do with the cold air and the lack of smog, but it's insanely good. I don't want to lose that

20/20 vision- I understand that 20/20 is good, and they generally aim for 20/15. I realize it's very unscientific, but is it unrealistic to expect it to be as good as it is now?

Contrast- I've read some places suggest that contrast range is cut for everyone who has had Lasik. It's just a matter of how much. Some places say that 70% of Germans who've had it done are unable to pass the night driving test. Hah. That must be bullshit, but it does bring up a pretty big concern. Has anyone noticed any reduction in contrast, specifically with seeing things in the dark?

Halos, starburst, night vision, etc- It seems like it's still possible, just not super likely anymore. Especially going with the Zyoptix (or other custom guided laser of course).

Dry eyes- I was warned that it might not be a great idea to get it done if your eyes are already dry, but how dry is that? If I wear my contacts, usually by the afternoon my eyes are dry as hell, and I can't wait to get them off. I wear single-use daily disposables, so maybe they're just not very high quality.

Probably the biggest things I'd miss are the super crazy macro vision I get when taking off my glasses/contacts. That and it's much easier to calibrate a display for colour when your vision's blurry. I suppose those aren't that big of a deal, but I hear that the crazy wild close-up vision can be helpful when you're older. Then again, I guess it comes down to whether I want to wear glasses/contacts ALL the time now, or just some of the time later.

So after all's said and done I'm more confused then I was before. I was just about to postpone my appointment this morning, then I saw friend #5's wall post and changed my mind back. Maybe I should think about getting a sex change instead?