Sock shopping is probably the most complicated form of shopping ever. Not only are you expected to find the right fit without even getting to try one on, but you're forced to commit to buying large quantities or risk countless hours a year sorting laundry.

There are so many different things to look for in socks. There's fit, comfort, breathability, durability, washability, stainability... there are so many things that you can't figure out until you've worn and washed them for a couple laundry cycles.

After a Wal Mart trip I found a style that I was happy with. Or at least as happy as I could be without knowing how they wore. They were Fruit of the Loom short shocks, with a mesh top, and slightly padded bottom. Not too padded. I had a set of socks that had a bottom that was too padded, and it just made my feet sweat. These were the perfect combination of lightness, fit and comfort. I wanted more, but I wasn't quite so sure how they'd wash, so I held out a couple laundry cycles.

My new socks washed really well. They held up to the abuse, and didn't stain at all. Often I'll get bleed from my dark coloured shoes (no NKOTB white socks and black shoes... I swear), but these were still good. I had six pairs of white and three black. That normally should be enough, but lately I've had a bit of a strain in the sock and wife beater drawer—if you know what I'm saying—so I picked up another six pairs of the white.

The problem with the new white socks was that they looked the same in the store when they weren't next to each other, but when I brought them home they had a little black and grey stripe on the back instead of being solid white. So these ones aren't interchangeable at all. Not cool. So today I went on a quest to find enough socks to get rid of this discrepancy and outfit my drawer with a whole bunch of new, interchangeable white and black socks.

My first trip was to the Wal Mart in the Town Centre. They had solid black ones and solid grey ones. They black don't match mine, because mine have a grey and black stripe on the back, just like some of my white ones. I didn't want to get those. And they grey? What the hell am I going to do with those? Bust.

Next was the Wal Mart a little further east by my work. None of those socks at all. By this point I was on a mission. Besides... Pickering isn't too far away. At least they had some more of the solid black and the grey ones. It was a step in the right direction, but not what I wanted, so I headed out to Ajax for a quick look.

Ajax actually had a few more pairs, but still had the same selection. At this point I started getting disoriented. Not only was the store laid out exactly the same as the last two, but there were almost identical quantities of socks, on the same shelves. When I walked out of the store I was completely disoriented in a way I've never been before. It was like I was spinning around in circles for thirty seconds and had to figure out where the hell I parked my car. Thank dog my remote has a horn button, or I'd be walking home.

On the off chance that they'd be available in another store I tried Zellers. Nothing. So I figured I'd just replace everything I had with fifteen pairs of new solid black socks, and then figure out what to do with the whites when I found a new style I could live with next time. I went back to the one by my work, since I was already late, but I completely forgot that that was the one location that had none of them at all.

So I went to work sockless.