When I start dreaming of something it's a pretty good sign that I've shifted the focus of my obsessive nature. It's usually the point where I realize something in the back of my mind is popular enough to shift to the front. It's weird, since this wasn't even in the running when I was speculating what I was to obsess about next. It's weird how this happened.

It's part of a larger personality shift. This started around the time I started this blog, and has been picking up steam since. I've been trading in my social crutches for social tools. I was just thinking about the magazine, and how crappy some of the pictures we had to choose from for one section were. I thought about how much better I'd be, and then I realized that walking around with a camera is no different than standing behind a table giving out free wine. It's an excuse to give people something free and have an opportunity to chat. It's a social tool instead of a crutch.

Now I might be heading out to Chicago for a trade show, so I can walk around and take pictures of people and chat about what they do. I'm giving them free publicity and making myself known. It might not have an immediate effect, but getting myself out there could be an important thing. One day when I have something to hock I'll already have a rapport with potential customers.

I've never thought of anything like that before. I'm the geek who sits in front of his multi-monitor setup all day and tries desperately not to make eye contact with customers.

This all coincides with the release of the Canon Digital Rebel XTi. I owned a film Rebel seventeen years ago, so since the digital version came out I've really wanted one. It looks like I've been waiting long enough. New model! Same price! Can't go wrong really. There's a lot of buzz behind this camera too.

It would be nice to have a step above the consumer version, but until I have enough lenses, there's a lot better places I can spend the extra money. Maybe when it's time for an upgrade in a few years. Plus it's a work expense... something that's been missing for a while actually. I'm probably even going to keep it there.

So this morning just before I woke up I was dreaming that I was just outside of work. They were doing construction on the CN Tower (which had mysteriously been moved to the 401 and Neilson). There were some upgrades, and there was some high-tech moving scaffolding on part of it. I think they were building it stronger and bigger.

I hopped on my bike and started riding west, when at Progress I stopped. I parked my bike in a parking spot (with a kickstand?) and started walking to the centre median in the road. Someone in a car was trying to get me to move my bike, trying to shoo me off. I got pissed and started shooing him too. "Get the fuck out of here... I have as much of a right to this road as you, buddy."

It became twilight, but the stars were out in full force already. It was still mostly bright out, and I had no idea how it happened. I stood in the median under a tree, trying to get a good shot with my Rebel. I had the tree's branches in the pic, the futuristic CN Tower and the stars. There were so many opportunities, but I was rushed. The best pics were with me standing in the middle of the road. Hard to do when cars are coming for you.

I got some good pics in, but before I could frame the best one I had to wake up. I have an uncontrollable desire to make a stop by Henry's on my way to work. <sigh> I have good reason to justify this purchase... but wow... this came out of the blue.

This is definitely the most uneventful FPiR post yet. It seemed to happen a little too soon after the last one, and I haven't really noticed much of a change. I haven't been able to ride because of this stupid knee problem, and I haven't found another activity I enjoy to replace it yet. I think I'm holding out for the winter. I know skiing is just as bad (if not worse) for your knee, so I'm just hoping that I'll be fine with it.

It's strange that I would even lose any weight the past few weeks, since my activity level has been very low, and my average daily calorie deficit has gone up from 1000 calories to 500. A bit of the reason is that I'm logging my intake calories a little more honestly now, so when I thought I was at 1000 calories it was probably more like 800. It would also explain why I was dropping 1.5 pounds a week and not the 2 that I should have with that kind of deficit.

Because of this I assume that most of the last loss has been muscle, particularly in my quads. They don't seem as happy anymore... then again that could just be the hair growing back. A good way to tell would be with my scale's fat percentage, but that's still at 25%. It was at 30 when I started, but it hasn't changed since the end of July. I don't think it's very accurate, but I'll start logging the numbers daily to see if any small changes can be interpreted differently. It would have helped if I kept logging when I got it, but better late than never.

Odd thing about the scale's fat percentage is that if I use it before bed it shows 5% less body fat than it does in the morning. I know there's some variance, but that's a little ridiculous!

There's no pic this time, since nothing's changed and I'm out of ideas and good fat pics. Up until the end of last year I was reasonably good at hiding it. Not to mention my camera is having problems with the memory card (or maybe it's just broken). Another expense.

Least excited I've ever been about a FPiR post. I really should be savouring it, since I think it's going to be a while before I have another one. It's been very hard to keep my motivation level up when I'm not doing any exercise. I have to do something, but it's hard to find an activity that I love as much as cycling.

On the positive side, I've really been enjoying shopping for clothes! I bought another two pairs of 32 jeans, and that's going to be it for now. I don't think it's possible for me to get any smaller, but you never know. Maybe a 31 would look better in a few months. If I hit 30 then things have gone too far. I know I'm small framed, but that's getting a little out of hand. That's what I wore in high school when I was 120 pounds.

It's helped me become a lot more interested in dressing better too. Now that stuff's starting to look better, I want to keep going. I've subscribed to a few blogs to try and keep tabs on what's going on in the world of style. Not like I really care, but at least it'll help prevent from some serious blunders I've been prone to do.

The past couple weeks it's been harder to keep my mind on dropping more weight because I've had a few people tell me that I'm about the right size now. I've actually been considering it, because I do feel pretty good. I'm finally average again, which is great!

Maybe I'm just being too critical, but I want to do more. When I hear people say that I tell them that I'd like to lose all the body fat I can, and then build up some muscle (usually accompanied with a Schwarzenegger pose). That's going to be a lot of work though. So maybe when I hit 140 the FPiR posts will be about gaining weight...

Okay, how about this for a pic?



This shows how I've been doing since I came back from Poland. The pink line is my 5-day average, the blue is my daily weight change, the yellow is a rough trend line, and the yellow on the bottom is my 5-day average calorie intake. There's also a green line on that at -1000 calories.

It's funny to see the big dip after the weekend I rode to Ben's cottage and back. Progress is going pretty well actually, I've been averaging 1.4 pounds a week... even now with minimal exercise. So I guess things are going smoothly.

Another interesting fact that I was just thinking about... most of the people in my life right now have never actually seen me this size before. I haven't been like this since 1994. It might explain why a lot of people don't think I need to be any smaller. Hehe.

I tried selling once when I was 15. It was to sell chocolate covered almonds door to door for "Youth Against Drugs." If you lived anywhere around the suburban GTA during the late 80's, early 90's, you've probably been approached by someone working for them.

Hi, I'm from YAD, that stands for "Youth Against Drugs." We're not a charity—we don't accept donations—but we are offering these chocolate covered almonds for only $3.99 a box.

That was the opening line, and from there most people would wing it. I tried to tell the person answering the door about how some of the proceeds would go to schools, making buttons to give to kids and whatever else. I didn't do well at all... but we did get $1 for each box we sold, and if you sold 25 in a four hour period you got a bonus. Pretty good incentive. It wasn't so bad really... I just wasn't very good.

I think I heard that they were busted for lying out their asses and keeping all the money. It might have just been in the newspaper or something, where they showed how almost all the money went into the pocket of the guy who ran it.

So today was the second time, where I got to go to the LCBO and do a tasting. Before I went to the orientation session I had no idea that we actually had to sell these wines! I thought we just stood there and gave out samples. No, we're actually expected to move units, and we're judged by how much we can get out the door.

I was a little nervous about it... I had no idea what to expect. I'm actually a pretty quiet guy most of the time. I hate dealing with people at work, and I'll usually avoid having to talk to anybody if I can. I figured this would be a good opportunity to get over that a little... it's just a little freaky to jump right in.

Caffeine was my drug of choice. I hadn't had a frappé in a long time, since it's pretty strong, and all that caffeine at once gives me the shakes and can make me nervous. I read on that wikipedia article there's a variation that uses Irish cream so I figured I'd give it a shot (literally). It was really really really good. I was pleasantly surprised. New favourite drink. If I can add something English it'll have the same ethnicity as me.

Sue hung around for the first hour, which was an absolute blast. She was just there to show me what I have to do, what to say and all that other good stuff. Basically setting the stage for me to bullshit. We talked about the wines, and the whole back story about them. If you want to know anything about the back story of 20 Bees, I'm your man. Basically I read off the back of the bottle.

It actually went really well. I did get a bit of caffeine related issues about an hour after Sue left, but I got over it. Stupid caffeine. Wish I had more Bailey's. Wish I was allowed to drink. By the end I had an absolute blast! I was comfortable enough discussing the product with everyone who came by... talked to everybody. There were all kinds of people too, a few old people, some of which could barely hear, young people, a lot of snobby people (it's the local store to Leaside), and a lot of people were very responsive.

I can't wait to do it again! I must be crazy... but it was a great way to get comfortable speaking with strangers. I handled myself well enough to satisfy about 95% of the people I talked to. There were a few who had odd questions, or seemed to be testing me. One person asked what the number of the chardonnay. It was written in front of the bottle, but I couldn't see it. I had no idea (I learned it was a 0).

I had a trouble hiding my feelings for the wines though. I actually liked the chardonnay, which is surprising for me (I'm not a white fan), but I really didn't like the cabernet merlot. It was much too new (from what I hear). I took a lot of people's comments and reused them when other people would try. Early on someone asked me how it was. She stared at me through the story of the wine, and when I finished she just stood there staring at me. "So how is it?" I didn't know what to say. "I guess it's okay..." she just left. Bitch. At least she had the decency to acknowledge my greeting... there were a lot of people who would hear me and just ignore that I even said hi. Would it fucking kill you to turn your head 20º and just acknowledge my presence?

Aside from that it went well. I don't know if I'm supposed to admit that I preferred talking to the younger women. They seemed to be the most receptive to what I was saying. Actually, come to think about it, so were the more obviously gay guys... at least until they figured me out. Ha ha!

To top it all off I actually get paid for this! What a great way to spend four hours on a Saturday!

After yesterday's release of iTunes 7, I figured this would be a great time to share the podcasts I've subscribed to. I've only recently discovered the podcast feature in iTunes. I saw it when it came out, listened to a few people talk about bullshit and never touched it again... until now. Now there's actually music. I'm happy.

Basic Soul Radio Show (iTunes link)
Hip hop to soul to broken beat to nu jazz... that pretty much sums up what I've been in to the past while.

Biggabush Sound System (iTunes link)
Dub, afrobeat and downtempo. I was sent a disc as a part of my last Betaounge Record Club shipment and it was pretty cool. Betalounge was the first internet radio show I listened to regularly, and it's what turned me on to Doc Scott and Ed Rush in the early tech step drum 'n bass years. I haven't been there in ages because I want an mp3/podcast.

Blackmarket Funk (iTunes link)
Future funk, neo soul, deep house and more. I've been feeling this one the most lately... if they only didn't charge an arm and a leg on shipping for their T-shirts. Awww hell... I ordered one anyway. $14 on a $19 shirt is excessive, but I guess the shipping is only $2 more than Khoi Vinh's super cool HELfuckingVETICA T-shirt I just had to order.

Beyondjazz (iTunes link)
I haven't actually listened to this one for a while, as they just put their podcast up. This one is definitely the jazziest: a lot of nu and future jazz. Luckily the genre is very wide. I think the host is speaking Dutch, but every once in a while he'll code-switch to English. I wish I was bilingual.

Broke 'n Beat Radio (iTunes link)
This is the one that started it all for me. Tons of broken beats, some neo soul, funky shit and this is what reintroduced me to hip hop. It's also fueled enough late nights at work over the past few years.

Comeonfeet Radio (iTunes link)
Detroit techno, deep house, broken soul, hip hop, and soul, contrasted with old school soul, hip hop and jazz. Are you starting to see a trend here (other than all the other links that start with the letter B)?

DJ Synflood monthly beat science (iTunes link)
This is where I could have been as a DJ if I wasn't turned off by hip hop at the end of the golden age. It's my first introduction to grime, along with broken beat, soul, Detroit techno, deep house and of course hip hop. The latest mix was a very heavily J Dilla influenced mix. Very nice.


This is where I listen to most of my music lately. I don't buy stuff very often anymore, because all I want to listen to is around me. There have been some tracks that have really stood out for me though, and I wish there was an easy to find and purchase them online. Now the only way I can support anyone is by buying a T-shirt or clicking a sponsor link... none of that goes to the artist.

Ideally I'd like to purchase all the songs I like, mix them down into a podcast so other people can purchase and mix down the songs to spread themselves. How absolutely perfect would that be? Everyone would get paid AND people could share music. Simplistic? Yeah, a little... but how else can you compete with p2p? [/soapbox]

Hey, here's an even better idea... why not charge $10 for a lossless rip of a song which would include podcasting rights? That's in line with what we used to pay for vinyl as DJs, and pretty much worked the same way. We'd buy music, mix it, share it with friends and they went out and bought the same records. But this would be on a worldwide scale. People would still be able to make money. Okay, now I'm done for real... I really don't know what I'm talking about. I just love music.

I'm not happy. This whole knee / IT band thing is really getting on my nerves. After a week of rest, I made it to a spinning class on Tuesday. I pushed pretty hard. Probably much harder than I should have, since I nearly passed out after. Yeah, that bothered me a lot. My HR dropped down to 50ish as soon as I stopped. I've had that a little bit before, but not like that. Worrisome. After I recovered and went in to work my knee started hurting again. This sucks.

It looks like my riding season is pretty much done. I don't expect to ride into October because my lungs don't co-operate in the cold. I might reconsider later... but at least I'm out for this month. Stupid IT band. Yes, I'm going to see a doctor about it, and maybe get sent to some sort of physio type place or something. I know nothing about that type of stuff, but I suspect I will become quite familiar over the next while.

So it's looking like I need to find a new drug... a new way to get my endorphin/adrenaline rush for this month or so.

Drug 1: Running
I think I'm going to try running again, but at a slower speed. I'm going to try and keep my HR down now, instead of the crazy highs I was getting to before when I was running. Probably instead of 6.2 mph, I'll go down to 5.5ish. Maybe lower. I'll pay a little closer attention to any warning signs too.

Drug 2: Swimming
Another thing is I'll probably make a trip down to try out the pool in the Manulife Centre. I'll see if I can do anything at all in the water on my own. I'm sure that would be good for my knee, and it's not too far out of the way if I TTC it to work. I'll see how the running goes first.

Drug 3: Weight Training
I've also been looking into actually lifting weights. I didn't want to do this until I've lost all the weight I want to lose, but I don't think I have much of a choice right now. I'll be able to do this even if I can't run or don't like swimming. I'm starting to look into some routines. The hardest part for me is to walk into the gym and actually start doing things. Maybe I'm a little self-conscious or something, especially with the weights I'll be able to lift. I'm really not very strong in my upper body.

Phil is helping by explaining a lot about what to do, and how to target specific areas to build up. He really knows a lot more than I thought. Most of what he says is a little over my head though. I'm getting there though. Right now I'm looking at the workouts here, especially looking at the chest ones. I'm thinking about concentrating on my chest, back and arms. I kinda want to say "screw strength and endurance" and just build them up for size a little. I can't help it, and yes... I suppose I'm vein like that.

Drug 4: Racing?
I don't know what's going on, but I'm having some issues selling the fucking car. I'm really pissed off about this... I picked the worst time ever, and now I actually need to sell it. There have been a few nibbles, but it looks like nobody wants to buy the car without an original engine. It looks like I'm going to have to swap one in. There are quite a few potential options for this, and I'll post what I'm doing after I've decided on which route to take.

It looks like there may be a spare engine somewhere for me. I don't know how to handle this right now... half of me wants to keep it and throw it in the car I just christened the "Shitvic." I might have a pic...







It's a piece of shit, but I might swap some winter stuff on it and use it as a winter beater. If it's still around by spring I might swap a real engine in it. I don't know if I'd actually take it racing or not (I know how addictive/expensive that hobby is), but I would love to have such a dirty whore to drive on the street.

Drug 5: HTPC
It looks like I'm getting more and more sedentary the further I go down. I'm toying with the idea of rebuilding my Beyond TV box again. This time to try MythTV again. Again. I never got past installing Linux the first time... I don't know why I think I can do this this time. I'm tempted after learning that Linux can do unencrypted QAM. If that doesn't mean anything to you then you're lucky. It's like Pandora's box... once I learned about it it's the end of the world for me.

Basically right now I'm getting HDTV over the air. I get maybe 8 channels, depending on weather. I use my computer as a PVR and DVD player and all that good stuff. I want to completely start from scratch so I can record an extra few channels by resubscribing to Rogers digital. Yes, I'm an idiot for even contemplating doing this. I'm not that good of a geek. It'll be the worst of all worlds. The complexity of Linux, the unreliability of cheap PC parts, the cost of Rogers combine for dozens of hours of wasted time.

Hrm... maybe I'll leave well enough alone here.

Drug 6: Money
I've touched on money earlier. I really need to get that under control... I think it's time for a budget. A lifestyle change? Whatever. I'm starting to get excited about selling on ebay. Oh yeah, BUY MY CAR! There is literally a full-time business in selling all my old junk. That'll actually be exciting too. Looking forward to that. Once I get my shit in one sock things will be good again.

Drug 7: Work
Probably the most important one, and the one I've neglected for the past while. Ties in with the last one. Things are progressing here, but it's certainly not anything I've been addicted to. I've been starting to geek out again, working on the magazine's site. I might actually make a public call to have a look at the site soon. I actually have some updates I've been applying and a domain change. I might make a semi-public call for a beta tester or two, if anyone would like to leave a comment. Not yet though... like everything else I've left the updates for too long, and now I have a whole swack of them to apply.

I don't do many sites, mostly because that's not my specialty. I'm great working with applications, but this part of design gets a little too technical for me sometimes. I'm able to do it, but sometimes it's a bit of a struggle. I wouldn't know where to start with Ajax or APIs or any of those things. On the other side I'm not all that creative. I just sorta straddle the middle. Only thing with web stuff there isn't all that much of a middle. With print I'm fine though.

Web publishing keeps getting easier all the time, and I imagine soon you'll be able to get 90% of all basic stuff done without having to look at any code. This is where I hope to fit in. The same place I am in the print world.

There's a lot more to work, but whatever... work's work, and not usually the most fun thing to blog about (unless you're the Accordion Guy or something). Whole point is there's a lot to figure out with this too.

Wow. Looks like I have a lot on my plate. Hopefully I'll have the self-control to keep myself away from drugs 4 and 5.