If you read my last post you know why I'm still posting right now. Again. Oh well.

back to the gym
I think I'm ready to hit the gym again, finally. I know my knee is still not right, and I still haven't had it looked at. So maybe my first trip to the gym will be my last one, but it's worth a shot. I think I'm going to start off very easy. Just a half hour on an elliptical and then I'll give it a day to see how my knee's holding up. And yes... I'm going to finally make my way to see the doctor about it. I've waited long enough for it to fix it's self, I'm getting stir crazy!

what i'm shooting for when i'm there
Because I can't let a good self defense rest, here are some pics I found to show what I'm trying to do, and more importantly, what I'm not trying to do.


This is what I'm trying to not do. His legs look okay, but those arms and chest... wow. I'm aware that he's probably got enough strength in those muscles to kick my ass though. If I continue to just lose weight, this is exactly what I'm going to look like. I'd rather deal with my current pot belly than be like this.

Apologies to the guy in the pic... I know he's probably more of an athlete than I'll ever be.

I'm bracketing my age a bit with these pics:

This guy's lower body is probably very similar to mine. Maybe a little slimmer, since I have fairly feminine thighs (shhhhh). Slim midsection, with a slightly larger torso creating a little bit of a triangle.


This d00d's got the chest and arms I'm looking for, more or less. Maybe a little less arm, and a little more chest. But that's it.

Both of these guys aren't too far off... I'm sure within a year I could be there. They're probably around the same weight as me now, maybe the middle d00d is a little less, and the bottom a little more. Whatever. I can look like I'm there in less than a year, but to be there physically is another story. And that's what it's all about.

With my body I want to go from this acceptable look:


To this functional, yet still habitable body:


...without going too far and ending up all skeletal like this:


Hey, if I had another body as a daily driver, I'd be perfectly content where I am now. I want to be functional, athletic, manoeuverable (read flexible), and bloody fast. It's funny, because the same things I've looked for with cars are the same things I want for my body.

I was watching a rerun of Scrubs today (when will they give up and bring the show in this season already)? There was one storyline where Turk was unhappy with the weight he was gaining, so he started working out with Dr. Cox.

Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: "I hate my body."

Turk: What!?

Dr. Cox: Do you understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle!

Turk: You should give speeches to teenage girls!

That's exactly what's happened this past month. I've been unhappy with my body right up until I hit a "healthy" weight, and then I started slacking off. I haven't hit my goals yet, I just conveniently forgot about them when it suited me. Well now if it helps... I hate my body.

pigeon eviction
I didn't even give the pigeons a warning, I just gave them a straight eviction. I waited until they were out during the day and I put up a net. The same net I ripped down when I moved in because I thought it looked ugly. It was cheap and pretty quick to do too since the nails were already there.

I'm not looking forward to shovelling the shit at all. It's grossing me out just to think about it. There's so much, everywhere. I'm sure my shoes are ruined on top of it. They're gone... and that's all that matters. As I put up the net, some of them came back and chilled out on my bedroom window ledge. I gave them the finger and told them to "fuck off, you're evicted, you dirty pieces of shit." Yes, I'm the crazy guy on the fifth floor.

The pathetic thing is that it's so quiet now. I almost miss the coo cooing and the rustling on the air conditioner. It was like I had my own wild bird cage right outside my door. I've always liked birds. I had a couple parakeets growing up, and there's that whole thing I secretly admitted to about birdwatching in another post. These are dirty disease spreading rats of the sky, but I secretly wonder where they are and how they're doing tonight.