I tried selling once when I was 15. It was to sell chocolate covered almonds door to door for "Youth Against Drugs." If you lived anywhere around the suburban GTA during the late 80's, early 90's, you've probably been approached by someone working for them.

Hi, I'm from YAD, that stands for "Youth Against Drugs." We're not a charity—we don't accept donations—but we are offering these chocolate covered almonds for only $3.99 a box.

That was the opening line, and from there most people would wing it. I tried to tell the person answering the door about how some of the proceeds would go to schools, making buttons to give to kids and whatever else. I didn't do well at all... but we did get $1 for each box we sold, and if you sold 25 in a four hour period you got a bonus. Pretty good incentive. It wasn't so bad really... I just wasn't very good.

I think I heard that they were busted for lying out their asses and keeping all the money. It might have just been in the newspaper or something, where they showed how almost all the money went into the pocket of the guy who ran it.

So today was the second time, where I got to go to the LCBO and do a tasting. Before I went to the orientation session I had no idea that we actually had to sell these wines! I thought we just stood there and gave out samples. No, we're actually expected to move units, and we're judged by how much we can get out the door.

I was a little nervous about it... I had no idea what to expect. I'm actually a pretty quiet guy most of the time. I hate dealing with people at work, and I'll usually avoid having to talk to anybody if I can. I figured this would be a good opportunity to get over that a little... it's just a little freaky to jump right in.

Caffeine was my drug of choice. I hadn't had a frappé in a long time, since it's pretty strong, and all that caffeine at once gives me the shakes and can make me nervous. I read on that wikipedia article there's a variation that uses Irish cream so I figured I'd give it a shot (literally). It was really really really good. I was pleasantly surprised. New favourite drink. If I can add something English it'll have the same ethnicity as me.

Sue hung around for the first hour, which was an absolute blast. She was just there to show me what I have to do, what to say and all that other good stuff. Basically setting the stage for me to bullshit. We talked about the wines, and the whole back story about them. If you want to know anything about the back story of 20 Bees, I'm your man. Basically I read off the back of the bottle.

It actually went really well. I did get a bit of caffeine related issues about an hour after Sue left, but I got over it. Stupid caffeine. Wish I had more Bailey's. Wish I was allowed to drink. By the end I had an absolute blast! I was comfortable enough discussing the product with everyone who came by... talked to everybody. There were all kinds of people too, a few old people, some of which could barely hear, young people, a lot of snobby people (it's the local store to Leaside), and a lot of people were very responsive.

I can't wait to do it again! I must be crazy... but it was a great way to get comfortable speaking with strangers. I handled myself well enough to satisfy about 95% of the people I talked to. There were a few who had odd questions, or seemed to be testing me. One person asked what the number of the chardonnay. It was written in front of the bottle, but I couldn't see it. I had no idea (I learned it was a 0).

I had a trouble hiding my feelings for the wines though. I actually liked the chardonnay, which is surprising for me (I'm not a white fan), but I really didn't like the cabernet merlot. It was much too new (from what I hear). I took a lot of people's comments and reused them when other people would try. Early on someone asked me how it was. She stared at me through the story of the wine, and when I finished she just stood there staring at me. "So how is it?" I didn't know what to say. "I guess it's okay..." she just left. Bitch. At least she had the decency to acknowledge my greeting... there were a lot of people who would hear me and just ignore that I even said hi. Would it fucking kill you to turn your head 20º and just acknowledge my presence?

Aside from that it went well. I don't know if I'm supposed to admit that I preferred talking to the younger women. They seemed to be the most receptive to what I was saying. Actually, come to think about it, so were the more obviously gay guys... at least until they figured me out. Ha ha!

To top it all off I actually get paid for this! What a great way to spend four hours on a Saturday!